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Note #158: On things undone (2025.9.30)

This is going to be another one of those relatively brief “Hey, I’m still alive” posts. The beginning of the semester is always hectic as things kick into gear, but September seemed to whiz by even faster than usual this year. Looking forward to October, I have another hectic month ahead of me with a conference in Atlanta to attend. Fortunately, we have a long holiday week next week, and I hope to catch up on a lot of work during that time (including preparing for the conference!).

Classes have been going well so far, and I am getting to know the students better—especially in my morning class, where I only have 23 students, as opposed to the 52 students in my afternoon class. Even in the afternoon class, though, it no longer feels like I am looking out at a sea of random faces. As I was mentioning to a colleague yesterday, teaching students is probably the most rewarding part of my job, so even though classes mean a lot of work, they are generally the bright side of any given semester. (My colleague said she felt the same way, so it’s not just me.) It’s the other stuff that can make a semester tiring—all the administrative stuff that needs to be taken care of. But that’s part of the job, too. Overall, I like my job and the freedom it offers me, so I can’t complain. Let me amend that: I shouldn’t complain, even though I sometimes do.

So I’m making my way along as I usually do, getting things done but never getting as much done as I would like to. The older I get, the closer I come to accepting that ultimately there are things on my to-do list that will forever remain undone. Obviously I hope to get to most of the things I want to do, but no matter how much I end up achieving, there will always be items that will never be checked off. This is true for everyone, and that’s OK. I try to keep that in mind whenever I I feel frustrated at being less productive than I think I should be.

Hmm. I wasn’t expecting to write that when I sat down at my computer today. I think it comes from the long conversation I had with my colleague yesterday. One of our other colleagues suffered a death in the family, and we traveled together down to the provinces to attend the funeral. It was over three hours each way, so we had a lot of time to talk. This colleague of mine is seven years older than me and has always been the big sister of our major. I’ve found it easier to talk about personal things with her than my other colleagues; I think our shared Christian faith probably helps with that.

At any rate, I asked her if she planned on continuing to be academically active after she retired, as all of my colleagues who have retired over the past few years have said that they were finally able to do the research they wanted to. This has always mystified me, because I have absolutely zero intention of being academically active after I retire. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to be active at all—I’ll just be doing different things. So I asked my colleague about her plans, and I was a little surprised to hear that she plans to have nothing to do with academia, either. I had always thought it was just me. She continued, saying that she was going to instead spend her last years before retirement getting as much meaningful work done as she could, but that when the time came she would be ready to let it all go. I wonder what it will be like for me. Will I be able to put down that unfinished to-do list and transition into the final phase of my life (should I be fortunate enough to make it that far)? I’d like to think that I will... but I suppose we’ll just have to see.

I guess I’ll leave today’s note at that. I had thought I was simply going to write a little about how the semester was going, but I guess I’ve got a longer view and bigger picture on my mind. I’ll leave you with this: Wherever you are and whatever you do, I hope that you find meaning in what you manage to achieve and learn to be at peace with what is left undone.